Literally how the fuck am i supposed to act normal when the whole world is falling apart

Our (I must add: heteronormative-patriarchal-first world) society hammers in one simple, foolproof directive for our lives: make friends, get good grades, get a job, go to a 4-year university, get a big girl job, get married, buy a house, have kids . . . and so on and so forth. Non-stop growing up, we were prepared for how difficult college courses would be, D.A.R.E assemblies drilling “say no to drugs” into our pea brains, and that if you take a beautiful flower, crush it in your hand, open your hand and try to fix the flower, you can’t because the flower is ruined forever thus you must abstain & save yourself or you’ll ruin yourself for life. 

Easy enough, right? 

Arguably (and unfortunately) one of my most vivid memories from childhood was Wednesday, November 9, 2016.

Two days after my twelfth birthday. 

One day after election day. 

In the early mornings it was always dewy, the fog seemed to settle on the field and through our elementary campus, the melancholy coo of mourning doves in the distance, and I was wearing this stupid grey Old Navy zip-up that was too thin so I was freezing, but everyone growing up in southern California knows no matter how cold it was in the morning, by 10:00 you’d better hope you have removable layers otherwise you’ll be miserable and sweaty. Despite being on a sugar-birthday high, it wasn’t a happy week. As I walked towards my friends in the hallway, one friend zipped past, and with an almost magnetic force, locked hands with another in our group. In unison they screamed, “WE WON!!!” and for what felt like a century, jumped up and down ecstatically.

In that moment; probably for the very first time, I experienced such a visceral feeling of absolute disappointment washing over me, so unsettling because I couldn’t quite understand what was really happening. I knew practically nothing other than the fact that for months, my family had slept soundly every night knowing that not even the thickest-skulled idiots in our country would vote for the pathetic, incompetent imbecile that was Donald J. Trump.

And yet, on Wednesday, November 9, 2016, the impossible happened.

At twelve, I knew nothing about politics except regurgitating what my parents would say. At night, I’d lay in between them before bed and watch Rachel Maddow, attempting to sink so far into the mattress and under the pillows in hopes that they’d forget I was there and let me sleep in their bed for the night. To me, the television meant nothing but light and sound, but I loved to argue, even if it was only parroting snippets of my parents' conversations. Even now, recalling this memory gives me a strange and uncomfortable feeling. Despite my naivety, I was attempting to grasp politics for the first time in my life and all I was able to understand was that it was not going our way. To be honest, I don’t remember much of Trump’s first presidency, I was much too busy trying to survive the relentlessly bullying I experienced in middle school for being Jewish. (looking back, the timing sort of makes sense) 

And then COVID.

March 2020, we were ecstatic to hear that “because a Chinese person ate a bat”, we’d get a few weeks off from school. Little did we know, this would be the point that genuinely & irreparably fucked us all up permanently. To no surprise, the pathetic, incompetent imbecile that had snaked its way into the oval office was behaving as the pathetic, incompetent imbeciles often do, making negligently disparaging claims about the insignificance of the ‘little harmless flu’ that was making its way around. Hundreds of thousands of people died. But suddenly, a brave coalition of smooth-brained activists arose from the ashes. They sought restitution for the inhumane injustice of the mask mandates. These brave soldiers, took a courageous stance: My body, my choice. For the first time in history, the far right and far left were in harmony over bodily autonomy! (for dramatic effect, we can just pretend like not wearing a mask only risks the life of the person choosing to not wear one) And thanks to these noble un-brained heroes and their marble-brained leader, us maliable and impressional young students got an entire year of vacation!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!

Actually, maybe it was a good thing Donald Trump was elected president. Because if he hadn’t done such an absolute shit job at absolutely everything he has ever been tasked with, then we wouldn’t have had the egregiously long pandemic, so I would have never been inspired to learn screenwriting and write my screenplay, and thus would never have had an important motif to design a website about, and this blogpost would have never been written………. ;)

The pandemic fucked us up. Genuinely fucked us up and ruined our childhoods, ruined our highschool experiences, killed families, hurt our communities, and in every which way impacted us as a whole for the worst. You simply can’t teach kindergarteners over Zoom. There are kids today whose first experiences of education were watching screens. Kids literally don't know phonics. Is that not the most disgusting dystopian thing? This all ties back to the central idea of my previous blogpost, but essentially this ruined us for the worst. Okay i’m so fucking sick of writing and thinking about covid, I’m sure we all like to pretend it didn’t happen because it was such a mindnumbing shitty period of our lives. (I’m quickly realizing I’m not great at getting to the point with my writing.) 

Then it goes (oversimplified because there is so fucking much more):

May 2020: George Floyd was murdered, and nationwide protests erupted surrounding police brutality and criminal justice reform. November 2020: Joe Biden wins the presidential election. January 6, 2021: Insurrection at the U.S Capitol while Congress certified Electoral College results, because President Trump directed his supporters to wreak havoc. Later Donald Trump is impeached (and acquitted), allowing eligibility to re-run. 2022: Russia Invades Ukraine, Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade, inflation goes crazy. 2023: Donald Trump indicted four times, totaling 88 criminal counts. Israel-Hamas war. 2024: Biden Trump rematch. Trump’s alleged “assasination attempt.”(that shit was staged, argue with the wall.) Biden drops out, Kamala becomes the Democratic nominee. 

Donald Trump wins the 2024 election. 

A stark parallel in two vastly different times of my life would be the resounding wash of aforementioned disappointment I experienced in 2016 with Donald Trump’s first presidential win, and again November 5, 2024, this time two days before my 20th birthday. I turned MSNBC to Rachel Maddow's election night coverage on our tiny TV in the college dorm, and let it play through the evening as I watched on anxiously. Her commentary brought a familiar wave of comfort, as she and her team shared aspirational statistic remarks through the night encouraging us night-owl Democrats to hold onto hope. My roommates floated through, paying some attention. But as the night grew later, I found myself alone, eyes glued to the screen. I drank a cup of chai as I watched each state's results come out incrementally, each one a harder jab to the gut. A resounding sense of disappointment and frustration slowly crept through my body, after each blank grey state refreshed to red. I could not believe, after all we’d been through, we’d somehow learned nothing at all. 

And look what fucking happened? Is this what y’all wanted? Did you get what you wanted? Because it didn't get better the second time around, did it?

and now 2026:

Blatantly corrupt redistricting and gerrymandering intended to take voting power from predominantly POC & blue communities, ICE and immigration at record levels of corruption, food stamps taken from the lowest income families, all-time high taxes,

Citizenship, gun rights, Charlie Kirk treated as a war hero, transgender athletes, mail ballots, all the hottest topics in the Supreme Court, tariffs, data centers, Trump Crypto meme coin, Trump Gold Card $1M immigration, Trump and Netenyahu bffs, billions of dollars going towards the “war” in Iran, $5.50/gal gasoline, $250 bill with Trump’s face, “Trump Kennedy Center”, Trump’s massive stock transactions & insider trading, $1.7B “Anti-Weaponization” fund for Jan. 6 insurrectionists……

All of this, and we’re still expected to work our way up the corporate ladder, save money in hopes of one day buying a house when we can’t even afford rent or groceries, let alone anything in this fucking economy. Told to study hard for our exams and get good grades. Reminded to get out and vote! Our country has become the laughing stock of the world and we’re expected to have pride and a sense of nationalism. 

I give up!

Disclaimer: The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on this website are solely those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any affiliated organizations, employers, or groups.

All content provided on this blog is for informational and opinion purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. The owner will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.